“When someone is drowning, that is not the time to teach them how to swim.”
- Adele Farber
How does the concept of self-care land on you?
Do you envision morning meditations, beach vacations, a dedicated yoga practice, or something else that replenishes and renews you?
Or do you experience it as another obligation, just one more thing that you need to cram into an already overloaded schedule?
Does it feel like yet another weight when you are already sinking?
It is true that self-care is important.
But it is not true that self-care needs to be expensive, time-consuming, or complicated.
In fact, those types of self-care practices are unlikely to be sustainable.
And consistency is key.
One and done activities like massages or a Netflix binge or whatever are nice, we can enjoy them but they won’t help us deal with our emotions and our stressors in the long run.
Fortunately, there are a number of practices that you can incorporate into your daily routines to reduce and manage your stress. Not every practice is right for every person and you may need to experiment to find the techniques that are right for you.
Remember how you felt at the moment of that picture.
- Try bringing your attention mindfully to the moment as you enter and exit spaces.
Pause, even for one moment and for one breath, before stepping through a doorway. Actively bring your awareness to the fact that you are leaving one space and are entering another.
- Watch clouds drift by. You can do this for as long or as short a time as you would like. If you want, you can identify a difficult emotion that you’re having and visualize it on one of the clouds. You’re not fighting it or working to resolve it, simply watching it drift.
- Enjoy a few moments of daydreaming.
- Light a scented candle. If you can, take a few moments to watch it flicker while you enjoy the smell. Or, take a moment to enjoy the aroma of your coffee or tea (or other drink or food) before you consume it.
- Savor a snack. Not just the taste, but the textures and temperature. Is it crunchy, crispy, pillowy, airy, creamy? Is it hot, cold, room temperature?
- Sing in the shower or on your commute.
- Use deep breathing. You do not need a special room, cushion, candle, or anything for this (though it can be nice when you have time). Just breathe in slowly, hold the breath for a few moments, and then exhale completely.
- Gently focus your attention on yourself and your environment and identify:
- 5 things you can see;
- 4 things you can touch;
- 3 things you can hear;
- 2 things you can smell; and
- 1 thing you can taste.
If you are unable or prefer not to do one of those steps, simply leave it out.
- Try being intentional about noticing what’s peaceful in the environment. The environment may be chaotic, loud, and aversive – but there is almost certainly a peaceful piece to it, a place you can use as a mental oasis.
- Write a positive online review. This activity encapsulates the benefits of both gratitude and connection.
- Attend to the basics (to the extent that you are able, get enough rest, ensure proper hydration and nutrition, and engage in regular exercise).
- Seek out the right amount of social support. The range of adaptive and healthy social interaction may surprise you. Isolating yourself is not a good strategy. But feeling like you “should” engage in more social activity can be a double-edged sword. If you are walking away from nominally supportive interactions feeling more depleted, that’s a sign to reevaluate.
- Cuddle a pet.
As a final note, gently remind yourself not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Taking small steps to take better care of yourself is a worthwhile and wonderful thing to do. You don’t need to use multiple strategies every single day to get benefit. Do what feels right for you.